Jump Start # 3786
Hebrews 9:27 “And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment.”
I write this on a Friday afternoon. This morning I preached the funeral of one of our members. He was at services Sunday and that night the Lord called him home. He hadn’t been sick. It was a real shock to all of us. Such a wonderful man.
I believe in all the various layers of things I do as a preacher, and there are many layers, preaching a funeral is one of the hardest on me. Writing. Teaching. Private Bible studies. Counseling. Preaching. Even, weddings. Nothing drains me more than funerals. I’ve done tons of funerals and just about every situation you can think of. I preached the funeral for both of my parents. I preached the funeral of a lady who was 99 years old. I’d did the funeral for a sixteen year old who was killed in a car crash. I did the funeral of a young man who was killed in a drive by shooting. The funeral of elders. I preached the funeral of friends. I preached the funeral of strangers. I spoke at a hospital ceremony for mother’s who lost babies. I have preached a lot funerals. I’ve stood outside at a grave site speaking words in thunderstorms and heavy snow showers, blazing hot summer sun and freezing winter chill. After all of these years I still get nervous doing funerals.
I put lots of pressure on myself in funerals. Probably more pressure than necessary. I want the service to be as close to perfect as it can be. I have three goals in every funeral: comfort the family, honor the deceased, and help the rest of us take it to heart. I sit down and write an original message for every funeral. I may use similar passages, but it becomes a brand new sermon. I wonder if I say enough about the person who died. I wonder if the message is too long. I wonder if the message seems too short. Do I present the Lord in an accurate and positive manner? How do I say something that will help those who are not Christians?
I’ve been to funerals where the message seemed too light. I’ve been to some where the name of the person who passed away was rarely if ever mentioned. I’ve seen funerals and you can tell the audience is thinking this is taking way too long. I’ve been to some where it seems the preacher was talking more about himself than anyone else.
Writing funerals are the hardest sermons to write, at least they are for me. And, when I am done, I feel like an old washrag that has been squeezed so much that there isn’t a drop left.
Here are some thoughts around this topic:
First, as Joseph and Nicodemus quickly buried Jesus, I wonder if they paused and said a prayer? I wonder if they quoted any passages from Psalms? Did Jesus have a funeral? As I thought this day, what would I have said, if I was preaching the funeral of Jesus?
· One of the things I’d say was how kind, helpful and better He made lives. He healed the sick, and cast out demons. Parents brought their sick, dying and possessed children to Jesus. He never turned anyone away.
· I think I’d have to mention the preaching of Jesus. He was the authority. Truthful. Personal. Cutting to our hearts, but what we needed to hear. His words had a way of touching hearts and though challenging, they offered hope. That’s the words of Jesus.
· One would have to quote some of the things Jesus said.
· How could we not notice what God had said about Jesus.
· We would have to say something about the manner in which Jesus died. He was executed by the state for crimes he did not commit. His death was unfair.
And, within the same family, John the baptist and Jesus, both young, both died violently for doing what was good and right. How would you comfort a family that has gone through double tragedies?
The funeral for Jesus. That’d make an interesting study.
Second, I’ve learned that grief is a journey and each person travels at their own pace. Some seem to bounce back to a normal routine fairly quickly. Others, like Job’s wife, never seems to recover. Don’t fault some from taking their time on this journey. Be patient and be helpful.
Third, as I said this morning in the funeral I preached, there are two fascinating things about obituaries. First, it’s hard to sum up a life in a few sentences. We mention accomplishments, awards and victories. But, what about those thousands of meals together. The vacations. The holidays. The hugs. The prayers. The times worshipped together. The serious conversations. The obit misses all of that.
The other thing that the obituary does is that it reveals things that many did not know. We learn about these things too late. “I didn’t know he did that,” is a common expression after the obit is read. Especially among God’s people, we don’t brag about all that we have done. We just don’t do that.
It is an honor to be called by a family to say some words about someone they loved so dearly. One cannot take that responsibility lightly. It is a privilege to speak at funerals.
My brain is tired, but I have a bit more office work to do before I can call it quits today.
Today, I preached a funeral…
Roger