Jump Start # 3762
Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Our verse today, from the creation story, identifies the why and the who of the making of woman. Man needed help. Boy, does he need help, some would say. Our mothers do what they can and then hand us over to our wives. It’s not good to be alone. Life is meant to be shared, enjoyed and worked together.
And, God’s solution for this problem of man’s loneliness was not a dog. It was not a buddy. It was not a business partner. It was not a hobby. It was a wife. God presented Adam with Eve. Unlike our times and our culture, Adam, did go through the dating scene. There was one, and that was Eve. No parents. No in-laws. No siblings. Just the two of them. The two of them in paradise.
We hear in nearly every wedding we’ve gone to, “for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health, until death do you part. “ Marriage was created to last a lifetime. Young in love and grow old together. That’s the design of God.
But, there is this guy whose wife has cancer. She becomes a shut-in for a long time. Trips to the doctors. Treatments. Medication. Taking care of her, becomes a burden. He becomes weary. And, in her deep illness, he presents her with divorce papers. He’s done. He’s tired. He wants out. We look at stories like this and think that the man is a heartless clod. He leaves his wife when she needs him so much. He leaves thinking only of self. He leaves because he is tried of her being ill. And, much too often, such a man races off to marry someone else. One can’t “boo” loud enough for such a disgusting move.
Have you ever looked at the expression, “in sickness and in health, richer or poorer,” through the lens of spirituality? What if sickness and health was not physical, but spiritual. What if the richer or poorer was spiritual and not just monetary? What a change that brings to us. What an eye-opening thought that is.
For instance, here is a young wife and her husband is sick. It’s not cancer. It’s not heart disease. It’s an addiction of gambling. It’s porn. Though, he is a Christian, he is both sick and poor in faith. And, much too often, young wives are ready to ditch their husbands, especially if he is hooked on porn and use that as a reason to run off and marry someone else.
Two immediate things here:
First, lusting in the heart is not the same thing as the physical act of adultery. Don’t hang your hat on this being an escape hatch out of the marriage. In the same breath that Jesus said those words, He also said that hating was liken to murder. Does anyone turn themselves into the local police station because they hated someone? If lust equals physical adultery, then hating equals physical murder. Study that context carefully.
Second, and very important, where is that sticking together in “sickness and in health” when one is ill spiritually? Rather than declaring, “It’s his problem,” where is the helping him get well spiritually. Where is the studying together. Where are the prayers together. Where is the “I’ll be with you and together well get through this,” spirit. We’d do that if he had cancer. But if it’s drinking, drugs, porn, gambling, we toss him to the street.
If we declare that a man is heartless for leaving his wife who has cancer, is it any different for a wife who leaves her husband who is sick spiritually? I’m sensing a spirit among some who nearly rejoice that their husband is sick spiritually so they can get rid of him. And, like poor Lazarus, left alone at the rich man’s gate, these soul sick men are left to die on their own. Where is the spirit of being a helper as God created Eve to be?
Some thoughts through this:
First, may we close the door to divorce. Yes, God allows it, but the way some describe it, you’d think a person is commanded to divorce when adultery has taken place. That’s not what the Bible teaches. Is the adulterer sick spiritually? Absolutely. There are layers and layers of problems. But, why give up unless the adulterer doesn’t want to get well. If the person is bent on ruining his soul, then divorce may have to happen. But, try grace. Try forgiveness. Try finding ways to make the unhealthy healthy again.
Second, there are so many issues and problems that arise from divorce. Unlike a funeral, there is never any real closure. On paper, divorce seems quick, easy, painless and simply. It’s not. Most times, a house has to be sold. If there are kids, they are shuffled around, especially at holidays. It kills grandparents. It’s an easy way to invite bitterness, hatred and gossip into one’s heart.
Third, what noble character, heart and faith to work through a problem and to help one become stronger and better in the Lord. Sickness and poor doesn’t not have to be the story of your life. What battles can be won, when a mate has stood beside the one they vowed and promised to God to be with until the end, and has patiently and faithfully worked them back to spiritual health and spiritual prosperity.
Looking for the quick and easy way out, can be viewed as something very selfish. Marriage is not about self. When the “I dos” are said, it not becomes us. We battle together. We face life together. We help each other, all the way to Heaven.
Maybe the next time we hear, “In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer,” we ought to include spiritually with those words.
When does a person need help the most? When they are hurting and down. Our greatest help involves the spirit and the soul.
Roger